Who Doesn't Like a Big Fat One?

Over the past few days LaRocque and I have had the pleasure of conversing with an OLD old pal, Chris Stratton. The following are actual emails, I think you'll agree that the subject matter is fascinating and that Stratton is a wierd guy. But we love him.

To Room Of Zen

from chris stratton

Jan 29

Subject: Who Doesn't Like a Big Fat One?

With all the talk of Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds and performance enhancers, the relationship between athletics and science has never been more intertwined. Athletes are taking any measure they can to gain a competetive edge through science and technology, whether its illegal or accepted practices, and they are able to play well past their physical prime. Work out routines, healthy food choices, and top notch medical staffs are creating some of the most highly tuned athletes the world has ever known, but one does not have to be highly tuned to be called an athlete. There is another breed of athletic competitor, who maybe wants to eat fried chicken instead of green beans, who wants a draft beer instead of a bottled water. My question to you Oracle is who would you consider to be among the best rotund athletes? (Sumo excluded of course) Names like John Daly, David Wells and Andre the Giant come to mind, men who would never gain endorsements from Isotoners or Tag Huer, but are athletes none the less. Some guys have to be gym rats and be all ripped to make it at the big time, while others just rip farts at Jim's Deli and still manage to compete at a high level. It is this group that interests me and I am curious to see what sort of insight the Oracle has on this matter.

I'm hugry,
Shorty Portly Stratton


Room Of Zen
to chris
show details
Jan 29 (2 days ago)

Hello Chris,

Babe Ruth is the all-time answer. But, he played in a more innocent time, so I think we'll have to work past him and also set up some categories. Before the Oracle can answer and publish your question, you must help establish some frameworks.


- Did you consider Charles Barkley fat when he played?

- Do you consider David Ortiz fat?

- Do kickers/punters count?

- Do you consider Sean Bradley fat?

chris stratton to
Room Of Zen
Jan 30 (1 day ago)

Hello Nick,

My apologies for not being a bit more elaborate in my last email, I had to rush through it faster than I had hoped. Babe Ruth is a great answer, he certainly was not svelt by any means and also had no shame in being public with his large appetites (food, cigars, women, booze, homeruns). If you saw Babe Ruth walking down the street and didn't know who he was, based on outward appearance, ball player probably wouldnt be your first choice of what he did for a living and that is more or less of what I was aiming at with my question. The guys with the big bellies who dont look like they belong on a playing surface, but go out and kick ass at their respective positions none the less. Personally, I would say that Barkley and Ortiz are valid entries because when they run it looks like they are working extra hard to get themselves moving, watching Ortiz truck from first to thrid on a base hit is hilarious, but someone like John Daly doesnt run so I'm not really sure what sort of parameters you would like to use. I guess its the best of the bulge, guys who are plus sized but still dominate at their position (hitters, pitchers, golfers, punters, you name it, big guys who are good at their specific job whatever that may be). But I am intersted in your Sean Bradley comment, so maybe just something more along the lines of atypical athletes in the professional realm would be a better way to approach this, but I will leave that to the Oracle to see through my muddled mess of a question. Hopefully this serves as some sort of clarification, but I doubt it.

Keep up the good work,
Stratton



Room Of Zen
to chris
Jan 30 (20 hours ago)

Stratton,

Its your old roommate Babcock here. I agree with you on Babe Ruth and John Daly, and especially David Wells. Wells is a guy who admittedly, and clearly, lived an unhealthy life and yet still reached the pinnacle of professional sports when he threw a perfect game. It has even been alleged that he was nursing a miserable hangover on that momentous day. In fact, the more I think about it, the more Baseball players pop into my mind. Guys like Rod Beck (god rest his soul) and Rich Garces would look more at home being cut off by a cocktail waitress at your local Applebees than they ever did getting the call from the Bullpen in a critical 9th inning situation. Pitching in the major leagues has for years offered these "bad-body" types a place in professional sports. While none of the aformentioned guys could legitamately make it on to any list that involved the words "greatest" and "athlete", with the obvious exception of Rod Beck topping the "greatest athlete to drink whiskey and blow coke with" list. He also had one of the most viscious moustache-mullet combinations of all time, but I digress.

When we bring in "Atypical athlete" to the mix we open the door to some really awesome pros. Think about guys like Spud Webb, Mugsy Bogues, and Early Boykins... relative to other NBA players, how much more atypical could you be? How about Randy Johnson, at 6'10" and an 8 time "world's ugliest human" champion, what are the odds that he would be one of the most dominant pitchers to ever toe the rubber? Now, the world of professional sports are full of anomalies, just look at the NFL...a guy with 1/2 a foot holds a share of the record for longest field goal. But I think I may be getting off topic a bit here. We're just talking about the fat guys now, and we may have to break this down into categories such as "greatest fat athlete that played a sport in which they were required to run (which would eliminate golfers) or "worlds greatest fat athlete who participated in a sport where there was a chance they might have to run (which would be for Pitchers). Its all a matter of degrees. You are clearly more of an expert than I am at being overweight...but you are not alone, America boasts a 50% obesity rate. With this in mind we may well be approaching the dawn of a new era in professional sports...The Age of the Fat Man. I expect that we see a drastic increase in "bad-body" atheletes over the next few years. Get your popcorn indeed.

Out of curiosity does anyone have an entry for "greatest atypical/fat FEMALE athlete of all time"?

God Speed,

Babcock

PS-
"Shorty Portly Stratton" may be the worst self imposed nickname of all time.

Perhaps, in the aftermath of the Super Bowl, roomofzen will undertake an unprecedented task of compling the masterlist of greatest atypical/fat athletes of all time, please feel free to submit your entries to roomofzen@gmail.com.

Ask A Giants Fan, Part Two

Here is the second installment of Babcock's questions to me. This third and final installment will come this weekend, when I will be asked to make my predictions.

Have you learned anything meaningful or interesting from all of the pre- superbowl analysis?

Well, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned about how much pro football really dominates my life, and how pathetic it is. I can't do ANYTHING. All I think about is the Super Bowl, and how crazy it is that the Giants are in it. I try to sleep, all I can picture is Brandon Jacobs bursting through the line of scrimmage and lowering the shoulder into some defender. I try to watch the Celtics, all I can picture is Aaron Ross blitzing off of the corner. The other day I had to piss really bad, but was in a situation where I had to sit for like 20 more minutes. To calm myself, I pictured Eli Manning running play action passes. As incredible as this run has been for the Giants, I need this game to be played for my own sanity. It's really amazing what an effect the off week has on you when your favorite team is in the big game. I have to give you Patriots fans credit for dealing with it for so many years.


While we're on this topic, I need to apologize to our readers. We've prided ourselves on providing you with quality material every week, and we haven't been up to par this week. We've both been totally consumed, and drained, from the Super Bowl hype. This is evidenced by the fact that the last 10 days have seen our youtube to print ratio skyrocket to an all time high. The reason is simple: we can't think, therefore we can't type. This whole thing is crazy. What if the Giants win? What if then my head explodes?

I think that one of the things that kills me is how much time is spent covering nothing. The only thing I learned from Media Day Coverage was that both Tom Brady and Eli Manning got marriage proposals while they were answering questions (I only remember this because I was pumped that our quarterback is popular with the ladies as well.) Other than that, I learned nothing, aside from the fact that I learned that BOTH Junior Seau and Antonio Pierce want to win a Super Bowl ring very badly. Imagine that. That made up two whole seperate articles on ESPN. I'd like to think that if roomofzen had gone down to Glendale, we either could have gotten some new information, or we would have at least found a way to spice things up a little bit.

So no, I haven't learned anything, except how much I hate this extra week. However, I will say that it proved to be a positive thing this year for both teams. If the game was last Sunday, Tom Brady would have been hurt and about 10 of the Giants would have had a severe flu from standing in frigid conditions in Green Bay. But really, now I just can't wait for these guys to step on the field on Sunday so that I can feel normal again and just watch a Giants game.

2) Plaxico Burress came out and guaranteed that the Giants would be victorious on Sunday...what are your thoughts on the "Victory Guarantee" in general, and how does this particular one sit with you?

Two things here:

1) The victory guarantee is an interesting phenomenon, particularly in a sport where the success of each player is so dependent on the performance of his teammates. But, to be honest with you, the way I feel about the guarantee all depends on how it turns out. Anthony Smith is an idiot, because he made a guarantee and got touchdowns thrown right over his head. On the other hand, I still believe that Joe Namath's delivery on his Super Bowl guarantee and Babe Ruth "calling his own shot" are two of the more bad ass moments in sports history.

2) Perhaps I'm biased. But, much like his response to the question about the Patriots receivers, I really think that what Plax said is being taken out of context. Burress was walking into Giant Stadium and a New York Post reporter asked him if he was ready to make history. His response was "Yes Sir." He then said "My prediction 23-17."

Now, let me analyze

A) A prediction is totally different than a guarantee. If he had said "I guarantee a win", that would change the whole dynamic of a comment. Included in a prediction is always the assumption that you may be wrong. Often when you read predictions, writers joke about how their predictions are probably wrong. However, they usually have a "lock of the week" or something like that, and THAT is the guarantee.

B) Michael Strahan had a similar response that day. He walked out of Giants Stadium and was asked if he was ready to make history, and he said "You better believe it. History will be ours." Now, first of all, that sounds a little more like a guarantee to me. But, This really just means that they are confident, and they believe they can win. They HAVE to believe that they can win, otherwise we might as well not play the game.

C) I have seen all kinds of Patriot shows and heard quotes that indicate to me that everyone is ready for this team to make history, and yet this is not perceived as being cocky or arrogant. In fact, the Super Bowl coverage on Comcast Sports Net is called "the Road to Perfection." Why is it alright for the Patriots and their fans to assume that their team will win, but not alright for the Giants and their fans?

D) If we really believe that all the records go out the window in the playoffs, then each team has an equal chance to win this game. All the Giants are saying is that they're confident and they think that they will win. This is the same thing that we hear from every team every year. The fact that the Patriots are 18-0 does not change anything for the Giants. They still have to play. And if they win, they will be the NFL champions. If we aren't going to allow the Giants to be confident, if we are going to mandate that they must bow down to the Patriots' greatness before the game even takes place, then we should just cancel the Super Bowl.

E) All that being said, it wasn't the best decision. But, I really don't think it was a guarantee. However, as is often the case with star receivers, Plaxico is not indicative of most Giants players. When I think about the face of our franchise, I think about Eli Manning, Michael Strahan, and Antonio Pierce. These guys are very classy, and they took a more humble and reserved approach to Media Day. However, I can assure you that they are just as confident as Plaxico Burress, they just choose not to express it. That's the way football is. They have to be that confident, regardless of what the Patriots' record is.

5 More Days...

After listening in on Media Day on and off for the past 8 hours the only thing I found of real interest is that apparently Junior Seau has a collection of 300 or so hats.

An offering to the readers

Because Foil in the Oven was less than satisfying, I would like to offer these sick videos as an offering to hold you over until the Super Bowl hype begins. Riley recently introduced me to the AC/DC live at Donington DVD, and it is sick. Here are two of my favorite cuts from it. I think that the shot of Angus coming out and starting Thunderstruck before a massive crowd is hands down one of the most epic moments ever captured in rock cinema (or whatever the hell these things are called). Note, these are from the same show, the sun just went down somewhere in between. I hope these videos feed your spirit until tommorow.

Foil in the Oven (is cancelled)

So, no football this weekend which means that you'll all have to wait until next Monday for an extra long Foil in the Oven, the Super Bowl edition. But, don't worry, we are going to have a lot of cool stuff for you this week, as we prepare for the big day in Glendale. By now, I think that we've exhausted every resource (unsuccessfully) possible to try and get press passes. There's really just not enough respect out there for this genre. Anyways, we're going to have at least two more Q and A posts and an oracle speaks this week, not to mention all the fallout from the game next week. Please e-mail us if you'd like to ask any questions or share anything.

A few bullet points of things I'd like to quickly say


- Look out for UCONN. Those young guys had to shoulder the load by themselves last year after Marcus Williams, Josh Boone, and Rudy Gay bolted early. This year, they look dangerous and ready to put UCONN back on the map. A huge upset win on Saturday without Dyson or Wiggins means that this team could go a long way in March if they continue to improve.

- Don't worry about the Celtics. Look, yesterday's game was impressive. The fact that it took a miracle shot for Orlando to win that game against a KGless Celtics team means that we're still in good shape, and again shows how strong our bench is. Now KG will get some rest while his ab gets right. They'll be fine. They're not the 96 Bulls, but they're still pretty damn good. A real backup point guard couldn't hurt though.


- Look, it's been a great NBA season, and I can't wait to talk about it more starting next week. But, I just can't do anything or write about anything right now without thinking about the fact that the Giants are in the fucking super bowl. So, I'm going to cut this short, and we'll be back with you all week.

I have to post this again, George Corpsegrinder Fisher (lead singer of cannibal corpse):



and this sick mewithoutyou video:

Ask a Giants Fan, Part 1

Before we begin this segment, I just want to clear something up. Much is being made of Plaxico Burress' comments regarding the wide receiver matchup in Super Bowl 42. Burress was asked a direct question about how he thought the Giants receivers matched up against the Patriot receivers. Here was his answer:

"We have guys that can go out and do things just as well or maybe better than some of those guys,"

To me, that is a perfectly normal, legitimate, and true answer. Look, he's not going to say "We suck. Randy Moss is god." But, nowhere in his answer does he claim to be better than Randy Moss or that the Giants receivers are better than the Patriots receivers. His answer is also true. Randy Moss is the best receiver on the field in every game. However, Plaxico provides some matchup problems of his own (see NFC Championship game). As far as the other Patriot receivers, they have done a great job capitalizing on the attention that Randy Moss gets but they are role players. Again, I'm not trying to criticize anybody here. I just think that Plaxico's comments are being a little overblown. This is what happens when we have to wait two weeks for one game. The media always needs something to talk about. As Babcock said earlier in the season, the Patriots have learned to be very media savvy. The Giants are just starting to learn that anything you say can be turned against you.

Moving on to the questions:

1) Bill Simmons has put out a call to Giants fans to create a nickname for Brandon Jacobs...please throw your hat into the ring.

To be honest with you, I really think that people are over thinking this one. I've heard a lot of people referencing Christian "The Nigerian Nightmare" Okoye when brainstorming for Jacobs' nickname. While I realize that they are both very large, the similarities end there. Jacobs is from Louisiana, which doesn't really lend itself to nicknames. Plus, even the ones that do work (ie ragin cajun) are out because there are tons of people from Louisiana that play in the NFL. Also, I'd like to think that Jacobs is a more versatile runner than Okoye, who was more or less a battering ram. Look, we've had MJ, we've had TD, we've had KG, I've heard AP used for Adrian Peterson, and of course we've had LT, the greatest linebacker in history. For this reason, I move that Brandon Jacobs be known as BJ from this point forward. It satisfies on so many levels.
























Eat this Rodney.






On a side note, I'd be interested to hear from our readers on what was or is the greatest nickname of all time. The general consensus seems to be "the Big Unit." However, I've always been partial to "the Worm."


2) As an outsider, I have been very impressed by Eli Manning's performance through the playoffs. But I am unsure what this all really means in the grand scheme of things... Do you think he can maintain, or elevate, his performance for one more game? Does his appearance in the Super Bowl finally get him a seat at the grown-ups table with Archie and Peyton next Thanksgiving? Why did he run 40 yards to hug punter Jeff Feagles after the game winning kick, is something going on there?

As an insider, I have been shocked by Eli's performance throughout the playoffs. Not surprisingly, it has turned out that as Eli goes, so go the Giants. Anybody that watches the Giants every week knows that Eli, much like the entire Giants team, has the talent to make all of the plays. However, much like the Giants, up until the playoffs, he never seemed to be able to put everything together. It has been great to watch, and I couldn't be happier for him. I know that there are people out there who will never like Eli because of how he came into the league. However, he has done everything right since he has been here. The reports are that he works diligently all year round at the Giants practice facility, never complains or gets down on any of his teammates, and spends significantly more time watching film than anyone else on the team. In fact, it was Eli that convinced Plaxico Burress to spend the off-season in New York so that the two could improve their on-field connection. Clearly, this has paid huge dividends, particularly with Burress unable to practice all year. You always hope that things will work out for a guy with his work ethic.



I don't believe that Archie Manning ever played in a Super Bowl. After Sunday, Eli and Peyton will have been to the same number. So, really I think that he may be sitting at the head of the table from now on. Although Eli's stats have not always been great, he has led the Giants to the playoffs in every season that he has started, and he obviously took a huge step this year. The Giants are a good, young team and I think that they will be good for many years. Eli may not finish his career with better statistics than his older brother or his father (who was always throwing because the Saints were always losing), but I really think that he will be remembered as being the most successful of the three in the post-season. To me, nothing could be more important.

Listen man, the only other person I can ever remember in sports history running around after a huge win looking for someone to hug is Jimmy V. If Eli has one half of the charisma and drive that Jimmy V had, he will no doubt be very succesful. Also, Jeff Feagles is THE GREATEST PUNTER OF ALL TIME. How many times do I have to say this? I think that he has probably had a great impact on Eli, and rightfully so. We joke about punters a lot on here, but Jeff Feagles is the real deal.

Finally, I think that the following quote from Eli Manning demonstrates why he, and not Philip Rivers, is the perfect quarterback for the Giants. The day after the Giants defeated the Packers, Eli Manning was asked if he was happy to prove all of his critics wrong. Keep in mind that nobody in the entire league has earned more of a right to stand at the podium and tell everyone to fuck off, and Rivers probably would have.

Here was his answer:
"This is bigger than that. This is about this team. It is about the players, the coaches, everybody who has believed in us, who has had no doubt and just comes to work every day preparing and keeps working. That is what it is about. It is not about proving anything to anybody. It is just about doing it for yourself, doing it for your teammates."



3) If you would, please explain to me how it is possible for Tom Coughlin to have such a Red Face?

I really can't explain this phenomenon. It's like asking me to explain Dolly Parton's bust size, or how Manute Bol could be so large and yet this wrist band seems so loose on his dainty wrist:

Look, I'll be honest, I worry about Old Redface. Maybe he has high blood pressure. Maybe he gets embarrassed whenever people are watching him. I can't explain it, and I'm not going to try. Instead, why don't all of you watch this sick Slayer video:

Ask A Pats Fan Pt.1

It's time again for LaRocque and I to ask each other questions about our respective teams as they prepare to do battle. (Check out our Posts from week 17 Here and Here) This time the stakes are higher. Two men enter, one man leaves.

Q: The last time we corresponded like this, the Patriots were 15-0, and one game away from perfection. During that time, you said that as great as 16-0 would be, the most important thing was a super bowl championship. Now, your team is 18-0, and has put together the greatest season in history. Now, if the Patriots were to lose this game (unlikely, but obviously still a possibility), how would you remember this season? Would you remember it fondly as the longest winning streak ever and a Super Bowl appearance? Would you have negative feelings when you thought of it? Either way, the team accomplished a great deal, but I can't imagine what it's like to have so much riding on one game.

This is a good question. As I was watching the previous meeting between these two teams my uncle Steve brought up a great point as the issue of the perfect season and how hard you play debate was being waged over chicken wings and beers. What he said was that, in a sense, the perfect regular season would be perhaps the most memorable achievement, because it was the most unlikely feat to be replicated by a future team. Every year somebody wins a Super Bowl, but it had been 35 years since someone went through the regular season undefeated. So, from now on, every single unbeaten team will face comparisons to the 2007-2008 Patriots until they lose a game. Maybe another 35 years, most likely more than that.

That being said, and I wrote this during our earlier correspondence, it would seem like a waste if Randy Moss wasn’t standing on stage holding up the Lombardi Trophy next Sunday night. Believe it or not, I think a lot of pressure has been lifted from the Patriots. They don’t have to worry about “next week” anymore. It finally is a one-game season for them. And, they know that they can beat the Giants. IF they do lose the game, I am going to deny—until my death—that this season ever happened.

Q: Let's take a moment to congratulate each other on the Chargers being eliminated from the playoffs. I first want to thank your team for knocking those crybabies out for the second year in a row, and I also want to thank you for setting the record straight on LaDainian Tomlinson's nickname. The Sports Guy has also been pushing for a while for him to get rid of "LT." Certainly, I haven't yet met a Giants fan that calls LaDainian "LT". But, it is reassuring to hear non-Giants fans making the argument. LT might have been the most dominant player at his position of all time. He changed the game. Please use this answer as an opportunity to A) make disparaging remarks about the Chargers, B) praise Lawrence Taylor, C) offer up a new nickname for LaDainian Tomlinson, D) make some commentary on an unrelated issue, or E) All of the above.

Here we go...

A) Nothing brings me more joy as a Patriots fan than a Chargers loss. Each year there are a few things that are a guarantee with San Diego: They will go on a run where they win several games in a row and begin to proclaim that they are the best team in the NFL. They will mouth off to opposing teams coaches, fans, and players. They will hire an inept coach, and our last shot of him will be on the sidelines following a playoff loss to the Pats looking like he just shit his pants at a dinner party.

LOSERS.

B) I cannot say enough good things about Lawrence Taylor. The “Between the Lines” Lawrence Taylor is one of my favorite sports shows of all time. Whether it was coming to college practices drunk and still dominating to showing up to a team meeting wearing a prostitute’s hand-cuffs, this guy is a legend by any standards. I also heard that he used to eat shotglasses at the Bar. (re-read that sentence, yep, badass) Plus, I dare say there has not been a more intense, gifted, dominant, defensive player in the NFL since he retired.

There is a lot of leather in this picture.

C) From this day forth LaDainian Tomlinson will only be known as………..Complainian Tomlinson... also, Darth Hater would work nicely as well.

In addition I propose: Philip “Cry me a” Rivers.

D) As far as Global Warming goes, I think we’re all fucked.

E) Done and Done.

Q: Randy Moss has not been a major statistical factor in any of the playoff games. What impact has he had on the victories despite this lack of stats, do you think the allegations against him have had an effect on him, and what do you expect from him in the Super Bowl?

Moss has had a huge impact on the playoff games. One needs only look as far as Lawrence Maroney’s statistics to see this. Both Jacksonville and San Diego made the calculated choice to game-plan against the hellacious deep-threat that is Randy Moss. Both teams committed a cornerback and safety to Moss on almost every single offensive play. Jacksonville hardly even blitzed the whole game, choosing instead to drop 7 and 8 guys into coverage consistently. If you do the math, that leaves 4 on 3 and 5 on 4 matchups favoring the Patriots offensive line all game long. That is why Maroney has rushed for 100 or more yards 4 out of the last 5 weeks (The Giants held him to 46, but he had 2 TDs.) He has put in back to back 122 yard games against two of the “best” defenses in the league. NO defense in the NFL can stop the Patriots running game with 3 or 4 guys in the box.

Careful with that finger Randy

However, despite Maroney’s success in the past few weeks I think that teams are still going to try to make him the primary option for the Pats, because, lets face it, scoring points on the ground usually takes more plays, more time, and doesn’t offer the same opportunity for the quick-strike as a 60 yard bomb to Moss does. Teams are so afraid (and for good reason) of falling behind the Patriots early that they have begun resorting to playing 3rd and 36 defenses on 1st and 10. It is the classic “Pick Your Poison” dilemma. You can’t win, in fact, no one has all year.

I really don’t believe that the off-field stuff will have an effect on Moss. I guess we will have to wait until the hearing on Jan. 28th for a definitive answer, but on the surface this just seems like a case of stinky-pinky gone horribly awry. Moss will have several catches and 1 touchdown, but I don’t think this Super Bowl will be his finest hour statistically. Remember, he has already had the greatest season ever by an NFL wide receiver, so winning this game is really all that he, and the Patriots, are worried about.

Stay Tuned for more Q and A throughout the week.

Saturday Morning

It is easy to just chalk last night up as another unimpressive win for the Celtics. They didn't play particularly well, and the league's worst team took them right down to the wire. But, there are a couple things that we need to keep in mind. The first is that the Timberwolves are never easy to beat. I can remember going with Riley to a Sunday afternoon matchup against Minnesota last season. The Celtics played one of their best games of the season, and yet they still needed double overtime to pull out the win because Ricky Davis was continuously hitting three pointers and then taunting the crowd. The fact that three of Minnesota's starters last night were wearing Celtic Green a year ago (and that there were two more ex-Celtics that saw significant time off the bench) made this more than just a normal game. In fact, I would bet that Al Jefferson was more emotional playing in Boston last night than he has been in any of Minnesota's previous games this season, home or away.



The second thing that we have to remember is that the significance of KG's performance last night cannot be understated. The guy that left with an injury, came back out and begged his way back into a seemingly meaningless game, and then provided an emotional lift to the Celtics' defensive effort as well as a steal on the Wolves' final possession is worth everything that we gave up for him and more. Look, this guy had no reason to go back out there. An abdominal strain is not that serious, but nevertheless, I really don't think there are a lot of guys that would have been begging their coaches to put them out there even though their team's trainer advised against it. KG is a special player. I've always known this, but I can't help thinking about it everyday and reminding myself how great it is to have him playing for my favorite team. I can't wait to see him fuel us in the playoffs, pushing us to pull out wins even when we're not playing our best. Honestly, I feel like he's been a Celtic for his entire career.




Moving on to football, I want all of you to check out this video. I love Charles Barkley. He was my favorite player when I was a kid. He's my favorite analyst in all of sports. He once had me thrown out of a bar in North Carolina, and I still count that as one of the greatest nights of my life. So, I couldn't be happier to hear him make that Super Bowl pick.

Finally, there is a great piece by John Clayton outlining the incompetence of Al Davis. The reports that he was calling for Lane Kiffin's resignation (going so far as to draft a letter of resignation that Lane only needed to sign) infuriated me. Honestly, this guy is the worst owner in sports. He trades for Randy Moss and then promises his fans that he is going to make positive changes, and instead he bring in Art Shell so that he can fire him a second time and passes on Drew Brees to sign Aaron Brooks. I really thought the Raiders took great strides this season, and I can't help but feel like giving Kiffin more time to continue implementing his system with this young team is the Raiders best option. The WORST possible thing would be to bring in someone new and start the re-building process again. This would totally kill the morale of the players and fans. Davis seems to think that if he keeps changing coaching staffs, he can somehow bypass the re-building process and return the Raiders to glory. Unfortunatly, this is impossible.

Perhaps I am biased, because I am a huge Randy Moss fan, but I can't understand why everybody was so frustrated with the lack of motivation that Moss had to work for Davis. There are workers out there all over the world that are working in a less than motivated manner because they feel like their boss is incompetent. Moss is no different. Look at how his motivation changed when he was signed by Robert Kraft and the Patriots even though he was making less money. You can't say that players shouldn't be motivated by money and then turn around and say "that guy should be motivated no matter what because he's making 9 million dollars this season!". It doesn't work both ways. Moss was unhappy in Oakland because he felt that the people in charge were putting him in a position where it was impossible to be succesful. He then took a 2/3 pay cut this season to go somewhere where he could be succesful, and look at the way his motivation has changed despite the pay cut. Guys like Moss truly embody Davis' famous "commitment to excellence" creed. Without these players and the Raiders fans refusing to accept Davis' incompetence, there may never be hope for this Raiders franchise.



the most overblown story in sports history.

Steve Earle : Fort Worth Blues

So instead of boring you with senseless banter during the dead stretch bewteen Conference Championships and the Super Bowl, the Oracle has chosen to enlighten all of us with some straight up kick-ass tunes. Steve Earle popped into my head last night while I was watching season 1 of HBO's "The Wire". He makes a cameo as a recovering drug addict named Waylon. In an effort to keep myself out of trouble I have embarked on a quest to see every episode ever made of "The Wire" and "The Sopranos". I have developed a strange freindsip with many of the guys who work at the video store; they know what I am all about. I have them looking out for Season 2 volumes 1 and 2 of "The Wire" as we speak. In fact I am expecting a call before the weekend is through. It is good to know people.

Also, the newest edition of "The Babcock Report" is further down the page underneath the Neil Young Videos, if anyone cares.

Cortez The Killer

Such a Jam...I love Neil Young.

Honoring a Legend

January 24th is Neil Young's Birthday. I think you all know how we feel about Neil Young here at roomofzen. I missed sharing his birthday by two days, instead, I share a birthday with Steve Perry. You can't win em all.

The Babcock Report V

Well, another hard fought victory by the Patriots and another year has come and gone in my humble existence. Its hard to believe I am 25. Do I feel older? Yes. Do I feel wiser? Maybe. Did somebody at work comment on the speckling of gray hairs coming in around my ears this morning? Absolutely. My girlfriend has had no problem reminding me that I am now "almost 30", to which I say: Awesome. At least I am not as old as Stratton, who is now enjoying his 42nd year on this Earth. Throughout this week I have been taking copious notes for this next edition of the Babcock Report. There are many things that I want to touch upon, and on the surface there isnt much connection between these things except that I thought of them, or experienced them, and had the time and energy to write them down. I put them all here so that one day when I am competing in a shuffle board tournament and pooping into a plastic bag tied around my waste I can say that once upon a time I did something even more useless and self serving for society. So here goes:

Limpin' Aint Easy

I wish I was the least bit surprised that the Patriots were playing in the SuperBowl in two weeks. Alas, such is the fate of rooting for the greatest football team of all time: there are no more surprises in store. I did certainly enjoy the win of the Chargers who are quickly replacing the New jersey Nets and the Indianapolis Colts as my least favorite professional sports team. What can I say about the victory? I enjoyed it. Whats more it only proved that the Patriots, despite what the Chargers will say and have said are a far superior team. Even off the field the Patriots dominate them. Tom Brady was spotted wearing a protective boot on his foot following Sunday's game. Despite the attempts of the press to stir up some excitement during the absolute boredom fest of the two weeks leading up to the superbowl any real issue was put to rest a short while later when Brady was seen sporting cowboy boots around NY with his special lady friend Giselle Bundchen in tow. My best guesses for the purpose of the boot would be A) Just a precautionary measure B) Extra support neccessary to carry such huge balls around, C) to mock Philip Rivers and LaDanian Tomlinson, or D) an attempt to tease the spread down from 14 to 12.5 points for the big game. One thing is clear: Tom Brady is a Pimp.

Clearly, if anything was wrong with Brady he would not be wearing Cowboy boots or such a blatantly metrosexual collared-shirt-v-neck-sweater combination. What this look says is "I am the man, and I have no issues with my ankle." However, we all know that he will be listed as "questionable/probable" with a shoulder injury from now until 3200 A.D. It should be noted that whoever the guy is who is walking in front of Brady has just become a victim to a serious Flat-Tire at the hands of Brady Himself. Obviously he is operating at peak intensity in preparation for the SuperBowl. Even Giselle seems to know enough to stay no less than yard away from Brady, and to not make any sudden movements.

I don't root for injuries to anyone, but I will go on the record as saying that I really enjoyed watching a hobbled Rivers gimp around and throw 3 picks as well as the frequent shots of Tomlinson (Note: I have just decided that from this day forth I will never refer toTomlinson in print as LT again, I feel that this does nothing but tarnish the great legacy of Lawrence Taylor, the original, and still the best, LT) sitting on the bench, bundled, wearing his helmet and visor to hide the tears he was most surely crying. See you next year bitches!

I will say that Rivers' performance was "gutsy". But thats it, seriously, not one more compliment will I waste on that team of whiny primadonnas.

LaDanian Tomlinson: All Gimp and no Pimp.

Strange Dream Indeed

I don't exactly know why I am going to put this in here but the other night I had a really really wierd dream. You know the ones that when you wake up you remember everything and its all really strange and possibly too wierd to tell anyone and you think about writing it down and then you go about your day and eventually forget it? Well I crossed that line and broke that unwritten rule and jotted down the dream as best as I could remember it:

I dreamt for some reason that I was a reporter and I had been sent to interview Suri Cruise, yes the child of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I was walking around in their house, Tom was preparing for a fly fishing trip and he had his fishing gear spread out all over the living room; rods, tackle, waders, the whole nine. Suri was in a somber mood and wasn't sayng much. I had to follow her around their house trying to pry good answers out of her so that I would have enough material for my story (I am not sure exactly what kind of piece I was working on, perhaps a memoir, although she seemed to be only 2 or 3 years old in the dream) I followed her into one room where Tom was playing soccer; another room was filled with beds, just dozens of beds and mattresses of all sizes; queens, doubles, you name it. Some were made, others extremely unkempt as though they had been slept in the night before. I remember being frustrated with the progress of the interview and being led into a large auditorium where they all did their scientology thing. The next thing I know I'm on the side of the road. Then I wake up. That's it. I really wish I had something more for you. If anyone knows what this means please let me know. Maybe I should stop watching E! with my girlfriend? Perhaps this is all a consequence of sobriety? I am sorry for wasting 2 minutes of your life, hopefully this picture of a Yao Ming wax sculpture will ease your mind:

Amazingly Life-Like!

Wednesday Morning

Foil in the Oven: the Glendale Edition

Whether it be Ronde Barber, Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson, Terrell Owens' ankle, or Brett Favre's "magical" season, there always seems to be something more interesting for people to focus on than the New York Giants. As has been the case throughout the entire postseason, the Giants will most likely be nothing more than a side-story as we approach Super Bowl XLII. I suppose that's not unfair treatment when your opponent is the 18-0 New England Patriots, and you certainly won't hear any complaints from the Giants themselves. Not only is this team supremely confident in what they're doing, but they also seem to relish the role of the underdog. As Eli Manning said in his press conference after the Dallas win "No one's given us much credit and probably still won't. But that's OK. We like it that way."



It's very difficult for me to sort my thoughts out about last night's game. It will most likely take a few days for me to straighten everything out in my head. Frankly, I'm finding it difficult to write about the game in a coherent manner. So, instead, let me just give you a numbered list of random thoughts as they keep rushing through my head, and over the next two weeks I'll make an effort to organize my thoughts more clearly:

1) The consensus was that the Giants would need to play a near-perfect game in order to have a shot at knocking off Green Bay. Clearly, this was not true. In fact, if the Giants had been able to cut out a few mistakes throughout the game, this could have been a blowout.

2) There were several dropped passes throughout the game that would have extended drives. This problem has emerged several times this season (most recently against Washington). For some reason, the one that kills me is Amani Toomer's drop on our second drive. Going down the field on that drive would have been big for building momentum.

3) I wanted Plaxico Burress to hold on to that ball inside the five at the end of the first half in the worst way. This would have been the second straight playoff game in which the Giants offense marched down the field to score and take huge momentum into the half.


4) While we're on the subject of Plax, we need to talk about his performance, which was epic. This is a guy that has been playing injured all season. He has been playing this postseason with an ankle that has been sprained for five months and has torn ligaments inside of it. There was not one person on the field last night with more of a reason to get lost in the cold conditions. This would have been no surprise to the experts, who spent all week talking about what a great matchup the Packers had at cornerback. Burress dominated Al Harris all game long. I have one question for the people who thought that Green Bay had the best chance to beat New England: Can you imagine what Randy Moss would have done to that press coverage from Harris?

speaking of epic performances (feel free to fast forward through the first 2 minutes)...........


5) I was on the phone with Jarrett (a roomofzen follower and Giants fan) last night after the RW McQuarters interception and fumble. After we both yelled a slew of profanities, I said "that's alright, I'm confident." He said "I'm totally confident that Eli can lead us back." I echoed this sentiment. Neither of us were reaching or trying to convince ourselves. We were both genuinely confident that Eli Manning was perfectly in control of the situation and was ready to lead the Giants on a scoring drive (which he did). I have felt this way throughout the entire postseason. People can say whatever they want about Eli not looking like a leader and not having the demeanor of a leader, but the single most important quality of a leader is that he has the confidence of those that he leads.

6) In discussing who has been the unsung hero for the Giants thus far, there are many people that need to be brought up. As he always does, Fred Robbins has been a rock in the middle of the defensive line. Corey Webster has stepped up his game in a big way and has made huge plays in every game (including last night's overtime INT to set up the winning field goal). Justin Tuck has had a career year, and just signed a long term extension with the G-Men last week. Steve Smith has made several of the biggest catches of this run, and will hopefully be ready to be a regular contributor next year. Certainly, Kevin Boss has stepped in and played well in Jeremy Shockey's absence. However, all of these players have received at least some degree of recognition over the past few weeks. If you go to the Giants roster, and click on kick returner Domenik Hixon, there is not even a headshot. I would imagine that you could even talk to some Giants fans who wouldn't know who he was. Yet, this guy has been HUGE for us in the playoffs (not to mention the fact that he ran one back against New England in week 17). The field position game has been key to the Giants success during these playoffs, and Hixon has given us a short field many times. On top of all of this, he came up with a HUGE recovery of RW McQuarters' fumble.

7) Apparently Joe Buck and Troy Aikman haven't spent a great deal of time watching the Giants this season, as evidenced by this quote last night: "Tom Coughlin might really want to consider putting something warm over his face. It looks really red."

8) Obviously the Giants made a lot of plays on both sides of the ball last night, but none stick out in my head as much as Antonio Pierce sniffing out a well designed screen, going through two blockers on his own, and giving an outstanding individual effort to help save a touchdown.

9) Obviously a lot was made before the game about how wonderful it would be to see Brett Favre back in the Super Bowl. I love Favre, and seeing him on the Super Bowl stage would have helped to soften the blow of a Giants loss. However, Favre has won a Super Bowl. Michael Strahan has not. I understand that Favre is a quarterback, and has been the face of the league for a long time. But, Michael Strahan is a future hall of famer and one of the greatest ever to play his position. He is an outstanding pass rusher and run stopper, and he has played at a consistently high level throughout his career. Let's put my Giants allegiances aside for a second. There are many of you out there, like me, who in their days of playing football were reduced to the less glorious positions (offensive and defensive linemen). As one of those people, I am happier that I'll have the chance to see Michael Strahan win his Super Bowl than I would have been to see Favre have a shot for his second. As a Giants fan, obviously, nothing would make me happier than to see Strahan finally hoisting the Lombardi trophy.


I could go on with this stuff all day, but I won't. The experts all picked Tampa Bay. They all picked Dallas. They all picked Green Bay. I'm sure that all of the experts will pick New England in this game. I have to admit that I'm less confident about this game than I was about the last three. However, it is by no means a foregone conclusion. The Giants have built their confidence and hardened their resolve considerably since the last time these two teams met. The neutral site in Glendale will be the least hostile environment they have played in since before the playoffs began. They have no pressure on them in this game. Their season has been a success. They just need to go out and play as hard and as well as they can. The Patriots, on the other hand, have all the weight of a fanbase that is thirsting for a perfect season. It's like week 17 all over again, but with higher stakes. Hopefully this time the Giants can author a different ending.

Predictions

We'll have Foil in the Oven for you tommorow to recap all of today's action. Not surprisingly, not a single expert has picked the Giants. But, those guys have been wrong for two weeks straight, and I think that they're wrong again today.

Predictions:

New England 41, San Diego 28
New York 24, Green Bay 21

News Update

In following up on the Babcock Report from last night, I just wanted to keep everyone aware of the latest on the Moss situation. We learned today from Moss' legal team that the female in this case suffered a finger injury during "consensual horseplay." We may never know the full extent of what happened that night in Florida, but if this is true then it sounds like nothing more than some rough sex and bruised egos (and the finger obviously......which doesn't make sense, why is it her finger?). Hopefully it will blow over soon....right after the video becomes available for download.

The Babcock Report: IV

Straight Cash Homey...
This has been a tough couple of days for me. Much of the positive excitement surrounding this weeks inevitable dismantling of the San Diego Chargers has been disrupted by the breaking story involving Randy Moss and some woman in Florida. I'm no legal expert, and do not claim to be, in fact I have no real credibility when it comes to obeying the law (although I do pay my taxes and frequently come to a full stop at stop signs). This whole story just doesn't sit right with me.

First, I admit, I am a Randy Moss fan and therefor inherently biased in this issue. And I think that is ok. Isn't that what being a fan is about? It allows you to be irrational for no other reason than some guy plays for a sports team that you happen to like. This is why people in San Diego still root for Shawn Merriman even though he got busted for steroids; this is why I root for Rodney Harrison because he was falsely accused of purchasing HGH. See what I mean?

A little anecdote...I was vacationing in San Francisco a few weeks ago and my girlfriend and I and my buddy and his girlfriend were sitting in a bar chatting with some locals. Upon hearing that we were from the Boston area the conversation immediately turned to sports. This one guy who, to his credit, looked exactly like the Dude (I mean exactly) told me that he had been to Fenway park while the Giants were visiting. He explained to me, that as a hardcore Giants fan, he had no problems rooting for Barry Bonds. He went on to say that while at said game he turned to a Red Sox fan who was at the game with his kid and said, 'Hey man, its really great that you brought you're kid to see the greatest baseball player who ever lived play baseball." He told me that the guy turned to him and said "Go Fuck Yourself", and then proceeded to call some wierd hotline that you can call to have people removed from Fenway Park. An inning later he was escorted from his seat and from the stadium. I guess the point, if you can call it that, is that I actually sympathized with this guy. As fans we are all allowed to possess our own opinions about individual athletes. Sure I hate Barry Bonds with a passion, I think he has cheated baseball and baseball fans. There are some people who believe that he is the best thing to ever happen to the sport. I can see why someone would think I was a hypocrite because I like Rodney Harrison. And maybe I am, I know I still sleep at night. I could go on with this for days, I know, but you get the point.

So back to Moss. Acknowledging my inherent bias because I am a Patriots/Moss fan, I have a few observations. First, this whole thing does seem to reek of blackmail ala Kobe Bryant (I admit I openly proclaimed Kobe's guilt, at one point in time I even posessed a T-Shirt that read : KOBE IS A SCUMBAG, of this, I am proud.) The fact that Moss knew this woman for 11 years is interesting. The fact that there was apparently a concious decision to release the story at this particular point in time, AND the fact that there was apparently a request for money to keep the story quiet from the woman prior to its release. In addition, I found that the fact that Randy Moss came out immediately and held an impromptu press conference, in which he did not read a rehersed statement, really swung me (further) to his side. This openess with the media and willingness to talk to the press and fans without being forced to or waiting while the story festers in the public domain (Roger Clemens) makes Moss' side of the story, although vague, more believable.

Next, and on a funnier note (I think), I heard on Sports Radio WEEI's Dennis and Callahan show this morning that a source in Florida claims that the injury in question here occurred while Moss and this woman were, and I quote, "Vigorously enjoying each others company." You can't make that up...wait yes you could...but lets run with this...So, you might have a restraining order being taken out for a sex injury? And, the body part in question is a hand. There are definitely a few "Spreading the defense" and "Deep threat" jokes to be made here, but I digress, my mother actually reads this blog.

BUT...what kind of effect will this have on the Patriots? My guess = NONE. Is there a more media Savvy organization, top to bottom, than the New England Patriots? In this season alone they have dealt with the acquisition of Moss, Camera-gate, Rodney Harrison's (phony) HGH suspension, The death of a teammate (Marquis Hill), and a quarterback with a bastard child and a foreign super-model girlfriend. Nothing distracts them. They are like Drago training in that wierd Russian workout laboratory in Rocky 4: methodical, angry and sweaty. If none of those things have derailed this magnificent locomotive of football awesomeness, than what, in the name of all that is pure and good in this world, could? A freaky sex injury? Doubtful. Moss has been such a model teammate and player this year and I would hate for there to be any kind of tarnish on the amazing season that he has had for the Pats.

When Fans Attack
Here's a disturbing story about a Packers fan who restrained his 7 year old son with tape for an hour and then taped a Packers jersey to the boy after he refused to wear the jersey. Moments after the story's release the man was given the key to the city of Green Bay for outstanding cheeseheadship. Also, this story wins the award for "Most Arbitrary Fine Amount" as the man was forced to pay $186 to get out of jail after his arrest. In a striking show of solidarity, the man's wife followed in the footsteps of Moss' accuser and took out a restraining order on the man. No word on whether the Jersey involved was either Dorsey Levens or Mark Chmura.

It should be noted that I have just reread the previous paragraph and I realize that it may seem like I am a heartless human being.

So, as a feel-good follow up story...feast your souls on this. The young girl who represented the Patriots in the NFLs Punt, Pass, and Kick competition last sunday in Indianapolis will be brought out onto the field at Gillette Stadium this Sunday for the coin toss and also received tickets to the game for her friends and family from Robert Kraft himself. If you recall, Colts fans booed her when she was announced on the field during halftime last week. Karma is a bitch Indy!

Homage
If you have never seen the Gary Gaetti Cult of 514 Cottonwood, Grand Forks, ND webpage, you really need to check it out. I stop by from time to time for the sick music (crank up your speakers) and outstanding collection of Gaetti memorabilia and folk-lore. This is America at its best. I often stop by here for motivation, although I am not sure what for.

Final Thoughts...
Today, in a rare moment of nostalgia, I recalled that when I was in middle school and playing on a travel basketball team we used to warm up to the Wutang Clan's 36 Chambers album. I wish I had footage of a bunch of white kids from Newburyport, MA warming up to Protect Ya Neck, and C.R.E.A.M (Cash Rules Everything Around Me). I'm not actually sure why our parents allowed it. I guess, as is the case with all winning teams (we were nasty, for suburban middle school kids) people let things slide while you are putting up W's (no pun intended).



This song really encapsulates my youth...actually no not at all. BUT, this is one of the best rap albums ever. Continuing with my WuTang tangent, the following scene is from Jim Jarmusch's film Coffee and Cigarettes and it features the RZA the GZA and Bill Murray. Basically the whole movie is just scenes of famous people having coffee and cigarettes, theres nothing more to it, really. However, I did rent it once and this just stuck in my head, I think its pretty funny, then again I'm a wierdo.



And finally, a little kick in the ass:

Oracle Speaks, Volume 6

My name is Jon Ladd. I've been friends with Ben Babcock since 6th grade. I'm very much surprised that him and I are still alive. I've become a big fan of the Roomofzen web site, and I've followed the success of your page since the beginning.
I'm e-mailing you guys because it's a small fucking world. I actually watched a pats game at Winner's in Brunswick Maine earlier this year. I was with my father and his buddies, one of which has a place up near Brunswick. I drank four Busch beers on the car ride to Winner's. When I finally walked in I was blown away by the Pro Football Utopia we had entered.
I drank beers and ate chicken wings with my old man and his buddies. There was couple who sat right next to me because of how crowded it was. They were Atlanta Falcons fans. I was somewhat uncomfortable with them interupting my personal space, but in the end I concluded that it was nice that Patriots fans and Falcons fans could watch football together and share the same view of the waitresses ass when she walked by.
The fact that i randomly went to this Sports Bar in Maine gives me more of an appreciation for this web site. I hope that Vince Wilfork literally rips Phillip Rivers head off this sunday.


Sincerely,
Jon Ladd


(note: picture included in message to oracle)

Jon Ladd,

I am pleased to report that as I am recieving your message, the Celtics are finally starting to drive to the basket again, and have taken a three point lead just before half. This gives me great hope for this post, and I thank you for helping to turn around this team's offensive struggles.

It is indeed a small world Jon. Not only have you been to the same sacred spot as all of us, but we have all most likely also been to that spot in close proximity to your dad's friend and that Falcons couple at the same time. I can also say with 100 per cent certainty that both Ben and myself (and most likely that Falcons couple) have drank four Busch beers on the way to Winner's on occasion. As you said, a small fucking world. And yet, I can't help but feel that your experience did not take place completely by chance. Your friendship with Babcock and your loyal devotion to this site show that you are pure of heart, and I'd like to think that there was some greater force that led you to our place of worship that day. You are one of the chosen ones, and are destined (as we are) to one day find enlightenment through the ever elusive journey to find the devil throwing a banjo into the fire.



Your experience brings up another element of Winner's that I never mentioned. On Sundays, the tables that are usually seperate are suddenly lined up to form two or three very long tables with many chairs. I imagine this is how Viking armies ate in miedevil times, which is why that is how people eat at Winner's every Sunday now. Now, this means that your rubbing shoulders with some bottom-feeders. Falcons fans, Cardinals fans, the whole lot. But, your overall message is much more profound and powerful than you might imagine. Sure, I never made eye contact with any of those freaks until about the fourth quarter of my first time, and that's when I began to realize:
We're not really so different. Sure, right now your favorite team is getting ready to cap off a historic 19-0 Super Bowl run, and I'm hoping that my team will take home the NFC crown, but it's not like this for everyone. Frankly, it's an embarrasement of riches. Can't we all remember a time when we were sitting in the exact same position. Dave Brown was the Giants starting quarterback! For a long time! Him being put in prison for dogfighting would have been the highlight of my whole childhood as an NFL fan! Your message is clear: you've never been the same since that day, and the rest of the world will never be the same if they can understand what we're preaching on this site.

Great call on the volcano wings.

In closing, I wish you the best of luck this weekend. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I hate this Chargers team. Igor Olshansky has clearly never taken a trip to the Room of Zen. I only hope that my team has the honor of losing to yours twice this season.

Looking Back: Gilby Speaks

At halftime, when I would stumble through the door which opened into the room of zen, I was not merely entering a hotel lobby, but stepping onto a new plane of existence, a higher plane of existence. I believe that a few pitchers of beer and a medium rare Texas burger were both crucial factors to experiencing this more perfect reality, but there were many more components that contributed to the spiritual journey in which I engaged weekly. Upon entering the room of zen the state of the natural order of things would be immediately clear. Sometimes I would find myself enveloped by a serene atmosphere of tranquility, the oracle would be at her post, the stream would be flowing gently, and the parrots would silently contemplate the peace that was around them. Other days the oracle would be conspicuously absent, the turtles would be far upstream as if fleeing from some intangible threat, and the parrots would squawk wildly. It was days like these I knew that there was some disruption to the cosmic order of the universe.

It was sad news indeed to find that the zen room was no more, however, I believe, and I think all who experienced that which this room had to offer would agree, that the room of zen has never truly disappeared. It lives on in the hearts and minds of all who ever walked around the volleyball net of ghosts, traversed the ground below the banners of forgotten victories, or cast an awe inspired gaze at the oracle, wondering how they were fortunate enough to reside amidst such glorious surroundings. Although the room of zen will be missed, I like to believe that the turtles finally completed their escape and made it to freedom before the room of zen made its final curtain call.

Celtics, Paying Homage, Addendum to Foil in the Oven

Even yesterday as I was writing about the Celtics being fine, I was envisioning them avenging Saturday night's fiasco by blowing the Wizards out by 20 points. There seem to be a few things wrong right now. First, with Rondo hobbled and seeing fewer minutes, the offense is simply not running as smoothly. Secondly, Tommy indicated last night that Ray is looking either worn down or hurt. If this is the case, they need to start resting him more. Tony Allen is getting stronger every game (see above) and there is no reason to be wearing Ray out right now. Third, they're just not hitting their shots. KG's shot down low on the second-to-last possession last night is usually automatic. Ray Allen and Eddie House were a combined 3 of 13 on three pointers. This has been a trend over the past few games. I was actually hoping that they would look to Posey to shoot the three at the end of the game. He probably would have gotten a better look than Allen, House, or Pierce, and he has shot them well all year. This team needs to have more fire on Wednesday night, or else Portland will make it three losses in a row.

The Wizards are better without Gilbert Arenas. Now, I know that I'm not the first person to say this. I have heard Bill Simmons (who I hold in very high regard when it comes to the NBA) and others say this countless times this year. But, I don't ever watch the Wizards unless they're playing the Celtics, so I only got to see it for myself over the past few nights. Any good defense can stop a guy that wants to be his team's entire offense. This is why the Celtics have blown out the Lakers twice this season. Gilbert loves to be the go-to guy on every possession. We know he's got an ego. We know that he idolizes Kobe (and, from a basketball perspective, why wouldn't you). But, he needs to look around the league and see that being your team's only scoring option on every possession is not an enviable position to be in. The Wizards are a much tougher team to stop when they are moving the ball around and different guys are scoring. Now, if Gilbert can come back with more confidence in his teammates and a new view on the way he wants to play team basketball, the Wizards could be a great team.....



Now, in remembering the Room of Zen, I would first ask you to recall this scene from Star Wars that takes place at the Mos Eisley Space Station. Skip through the first one minute of the clip until they are in the cantina with all of the aliens playing music and such:



Now, the staff at Winner's (and the customers for the most part) were all very friendly, and we never had anything but outstanding food and drink there. However, I often times felt like I was walking into a bar filled with various alien species. You see, Winner's was down the street from the Brunswick Naval Air Base, where diehard fans of all different NFL teams had been assembled for duty. Now, you would assume that Jacksonville Jaguar fans, Seattle Seahwaks fans, Arizona Cardinals fans, Tennessee Titans fans, and Carolina Panthers fans exist, but you probably don't ever expect to see one in real life. You probably never imagine that you could casually put forth the question "hey, who gives a shit about the Chiefs/Cardinals game, why don't we change that to the Red Sox? (early in the NFL season)", and suddenly some dude in a Trent Green Kansas City jersey would stand up and angrily say "why don't you shut the fuck up." You would probably never imagine that, at the same time, one man in a Jacksonville Jaguars jersey would leap to his feet screaming about a Fred Taylor breakaway run, while another celebrated a Seattle Seahawk touchdown by screaming "Let's go Hawks!" and throwing back a shot of whiskey. You almost just have to avert your eyes when this happens so they don't see you staring. There was even one man with the Tennessee Titans logo, the glorious flaming thumbtack, tattooed on his entire upper arm. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the Celtics/Grizzlies game. There was one Grizzlies fan at the game, and I found it really hard not to go back a few rows and start asking him questions. I really didn't think that one of those existed. This is what it was like at Winner's every Sunday, except that there were always like five or six aliens.

As for the Room of Zen itself. Let me just give a quick description of the layout. Winner's was connected to the Atrium Hotel. If you walked down past the bathrooms and the ATM, you came to the lobby of the Atrium Hotel (a wall now separates them). This was the oddest hotel lobby that I have ever seen. The entire floor was turf, even though they kept a hose. There were three live parrots, one that talked. There was a small stream that ran right down the middle of the lobby; four turtles roamed that stream. A bridge crossed the stream and led you to a volleyball net which was never used. Above it hung blank championship banners. Off to the side was a sign for an all-you-can-eat Mexican buffet. There were tables, but no restaurant was ever running. Next to the volleyball net was a small pool. All around this room were the balconies of the hotel rooms. Rather than looking out on Brunswick, these pilgrims instead looked out on this surreal scene. In the middle of it sat the oracle at a computer desk, often eating Wendy's. We spent many halftimes (halftime of 1 o'clock and 4 o'clock games) in this room, communicating with the animals and soaking in the soothing sounds of the stream.

Please read the thoughts from the very wise Ted Gilbert on his experiences with the room. it should be noted that although Ted has not posted in quite a while, he has still been instrumental in the development of this blog. As an employee for Relapse, he has contributed greatly to the variety of music that you have seen and heard here.



Finally, I would just like to add an addendum to my Foil in the Oven from yesterday. I would just like to point out that the backlash from Wade Phillips and the many Cowboys fans that keep insisting that "the better team lost" is totally absurd, but not unexpected. I took great pleasure in seeing Jerry Jones disgraced on the sidelines. Of all the NFL fanbases, there are none more arrogant and smug than the people associated with the Cowboys. Cowboys fans act like their team sits on some plain high above all other teams. All season long, especially last week, all I heard about was how great Tony Romo was and how clutch he was. Seriously, all these Cowboy fans talked about how many clutch plays Tony Romo makes and what a clutch quarterback he is. Well, that talk has subsided since Sunday night, but just in case some of you still feel that way let me just ask you HOW YOU COULD HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS:

Origins of the ROOMOFZEN

First, I want to thank all of our readers who have stopped by and contributed to our little page here. Its hard to believe that what began as a humble email chain a few years ago has evolved into a full blown blog…with real actual readers! In a little under three months time we have reached our 1000th visitor to the page, I speak for everyone here at roomofzen when I say this: Sick.

Now many of you already know us, you know what we are all about, what makes us tick. Some of you have only stumbled upon this page looking for an online seminar in eastern spirituality, and while we provide a form of “spirituality” here it is surely not what you were expecting to find when you entered “room of zen” into your search engine. We have received a few emails from people we do not know and who don’t know us, which is nice, as long as they haven’t managed to somehow hack into our computers and steal our identities. Take this little note we received this week from Mason Cajka: “go eat a piglet”. We have no idea who this guy is or what he means by “go eat a piglet” but we are honored to receive his and all of your emails at roomofzen@gmail.com. That’s a true story.

In speaking with the oracle this past week it was noted that we were fast approaching our 1000th visitor to the site and that in honor of our moving forward we should take some time to look back…into the deep past unto the origins of the roomofzen. In doing so we will enlighten you as to why we have come to be, and what we stand for, our motivations, our inspirations, our flatulations. I would call our beginnings humble but that would make a mockery of all that we stand for. Our beginnings were badass, in fact, as the prophet Brian Adams once sang “those were the best days of my life”, and he was in fact talking about us, not the summer of 1969, everyone knows that was code.

Over the next few days we will be hearing from many of the founders of this movement, their personal pilgrimages to the oracle, the zen room, the bathroom with very low toilets. We will talk about how these things came to be. All will be revealed. There will be tales of heroism, chicken wings, beer, and indoor volleyball. There will be tales of laughter, tales of sorrow, and things that really don’t make sense at all. But look closer friends…for in our beginnings lies the keys to our future.

I will only speak for myself when I recount the days and events that led to my introduction with a little place called Winners Sports Grill in Brunswick, Maine. It was my senior year at Bowdoin College. My days were carefree, my demeanor devil-may-care always wanted to say that). I often slept late and wore sweatpants. I enjoyed fine programming of Animal Planet and the Discovery Channel, occasionally breaking from the rigamorole of daily life to engage in consumption of boxed wine, and/or video games. This was a time when men were men, when cut off shirts still meant something, when anyone would have been honored to sport a moustache into the dining hall during lunch.

Sundays, traditionally a day of rest as far as I were concerned were devoted to football. Now I had become somewhat of a homebody during Sundays at this time in my life. My friends and I often lounged about indoors, hoping to last the day with out being recognized as “that guy who rode that shopping cart into Union St” or “one of the guys who tackled each other during late night dining”. No, stealth was of the essence. So it took a little bit of prodding to convince me to venture out one Sunday along with some great great men to Winners. What happened next proceeded to blow my mind.

I can only speak for myself, and admittedly there are others among us who were more instrumental in locating and enjoying this fine establishment long before I ever stepped foot in those hallowed halls. Over the next few days you will hear from them. Their stories are simply amazing. I can only say that Winners was not only a place, it was a state of mind. If you could bottle the magic of those Sundays and sell it, you would have a bunch of bottles of some really fucking awesome shit for sale. Fans of all teams were welcome, everyone was free to root and enjoy as they pleased, this is the type of environment we seek to foster here at roomofzen, this is the essence of what we do. If you ever find yourself in Brunswick, Maine, stop in to Winners and enjoy the ambience. It is a special place.

Thank you to everyone who has stopped by to check us out over the past few months, an extra big thanks to those of you who have taken the time to write in, it brings a little joy to our lives. And keep coming back, and tell a friend, and don’t forget to have your pets spayed and neutered.

Nothing says "Awesome...we've got a thousand hits!" like a Squirrel playing a banjo on a river bank. This is by far my most badass contribution to the blog.

Foil in the Oven

What a weekend. Before we do anything else, I need to defend my Seattle pick on Saturday. Obviously I couldn't have been more wrong, as this was the most lopsided game of the weekend. There were a few things that factored into my choice. First, I couldn't get the images out of my mind of the Bears dominating the Packers in week 16. This, combined with their loss to Dallas a few weeks before, made me think that perhaps they were losing some of the momentum that carried them through the regular season. Second, I was surprised that not a single analyst that I heard was giving Seattle any chance to win this game, which may have caused me to overthink the pick. Third, Seattle's defense is outstanding, and I thought that they might be the difference in the game. Fourth, I just haven't been that impressed with this Green Bay team this year. They've won a lot of games, but they often leave me saying "wow, I don't know how they pulled that one out." But, I was obviously wrong. If I had known the weather, I never would have picked Seattle. A day like that at Lambeau Field is a day that makes Brett Favre almost unbeatable. Green Bay has been one of the best stories of this NFL season. I obviously won't be rooting for them against the Giants, but I would find a loss to Brett Favre at Lambeau much easier to stomach than a loss to Tony Romo in Dallas.



Before we move any further, let me offer you this piece of enlightenment:


Babcock and I both said it last week, and I'm going to say it again, I can't stand this San Diego team. For this reason, it kills me to have to say what a great win that was yesterday. To lose Tomlinson and Rivers and still manage to pull one out in Indy is impressive, and speaks to how important it is to have backups that you trust on the roster. That being said, the Chargers have a date with the executioner next week. They have shown us that they know how to rattle the Colts over the last few meetings, but they will not beat the Patriots. As this game was ending yesterday, I began to think that maybe I was wrong about this team. Maybe they've moved on from being a team that runs its mouth even though they haven't earned any right to do so and has no class. Right as those thoughts came to me, the camera went to Philip Rivers, who was yelling at some Indianapolis fans that were in the front row even though he wasn't even playing. I guess I was wrong.



I can't say overstate enough how pumped I am about the Giants win. This team has provided me countless frustrations over this season, and really the past five seasons. All along, what frustrated me most was that I knew this team could be a legitimate contender if they were ever able to put everything together. All along, it's seemed like the only thing stopping the Giants from being a top tier NFL team was the Giants themselves. For this reason, it feels awesome to see them finally playing to their potential. Eli Manning, in particular, has taken his game to the next level. The Giants team that fans have become accustomed to would have rolled over and died after Dallas had that nine minute drive in the first half. I couldn't believe what I was watching as Eli marched the offense down the field for a touchdown in less than a minute. Great things are happening with this team right now.



Can they beat Green Bay? It's going to be a tougher task than knocking off Dallas. The Giants were totally familiar with everything Dallas does, and were not intimidated at all by Texas Stadium. Going to Lambeau Field and taking on Brett Favre in single digit temperatures will be much more difficult. However, this team has won nine straight on the road, and they are built to play cold weather football. I think this matchup actually favors the Giants more than the Dallas matchup because Green Bay's offensive line doesn't have a guy like Flozell Adams that can handle Osi Umenyiora by himself. I expect the Giants to put a lot of pressure on Brett Favre, and I expect them to run the ball well. However, this has been a storybook season for the Packers, and that Packer receiving core has been playing well. It should be a great game.

I mentioned the Stolen Babies a few weeks ago, and how bummed out I was that they weren't at the Dillinger Escape Plan show. This band kicks a lot of ass. Their lead singer (Dominique Lenore Persi) provides some of the most badass female vocals out there, and plays the accordion, which you don't come across with every group.


As Michael Wilbon said on PTI last week, these are the "dog days of January and February" in the NBA, and it's tough to win every game. I feel good about where the Celtics are right now. They will get another crack at the Wizards tonight, and they pulled out the game against New Jersey on Friday night, which was the most important game of the week. The loss to Charlotte on Wednesday showed just how important Glen Davis is to this team. Watching Brian Scalabrine playing in his place in the fourth quarter was painful. Frankly, the fact that this was the worst week we've had as Celtics fans this season is pretty encouraging. I have no doubts that this team will be a top seed in the East and that they are built to take care of business in the post-season.

Finally, I would just like to say that I really hope there is a national broadcast of the 51.9 second replay between the Heat and Hawks that will take place on March 8th. I'm fascinated by this. I just wonder if whoever wins that last 51.9 seconds will win the second game. Will the loser of that 51.9 second replay carry disappointment into the second game? You get all pumped up, you warm up, you take the floor, and less than a minute later you've lost already. That has to be demoralizing. This has to be on national TV. Apparently it hasn't happened since the 80's, which means that it must be significant.

Domination

Phillip Rivers (Deer) vs. New England Patriots (Car). You saw it here first.

Weekend Predictions

I just wanted to make my predictions for this weekend before things get going later on. Here we go:

Seahawks 28 Packers 20
Patriots 41 Jaguars 14
Colts 38 Chargers 21
Giants 24 Cowboys 21

Have a great weekend and we'll have Foil in the Oven on Monday to recap all of the weekend's action.

Oracle Speaks, Volume 5

I have a question for the oracle: When are we going to see Roger Clemens star in a major blockbuster? He's as a good an actor as anyone in Hollywood. His fiery interviews almost make him believable (key word being almost). I really enjoyed his role in Kingpin, and I hope to see him in a larger role soon. I see him playing a vigilante-type character who shoots up a lot of people and blows up a bunch of stuff in an effort to clear his name. What do you think?

Greg, South Shore

Greg,

Thank you for your question. I should clarify before beginning to answer that when I say the oracle is all-seeing and all-knowing, I mean that it sees and knows everything that is happening in the present and happened in the past. The future, because it is dependent on what happens in the present, is more difficult to see. It must be this way. If the oracle knew the future, and didn't like it, it would just change the present in order to change the future. This kind of power can be dangerous. Nevertheless, I think that I have an answer for you.

The first part of your question is the most difficult to answer. It's hard to predict how successfully Roger will be able to transition back to the "marketable retired future hall-of-famer" phase of his life. Obviously, a lot will depend on the outcome of the Congressional investigation. As I see it, there are three possible outcomes: A) Congress could decide that they have no hard evidence against the Rocket. B) They could decide just the opposite. C) They could decide (as I have been advocating) that they have more important issues to address with their valuable time and money than Roger Clemens. These outcomes will all have significant impacts on how long it will take for Clemens to take his next logical step into the entertainment industry. If B takes place, you can all but cast aside any hopes of ever seeing the Rocket on the big screen again. In fact, you may want to expect seeing him in all types of crazy tabloid magazines next to other basket cases like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Jose Canseco.

A and C are the wild cards. The biggest question that we have to ask is: how fast will this whole thing go away if nothing comes of the investigation? On the one hand, the guy is a legend, and was never convicted of the crime. However, OJ Simpson was outstanding in his role of Nordberg in the Naked Gun films, and I don't think any movie studios were knocking down his door after he was acquitted of murder. But, this is steroid use not murder, so you have to imagine that Roger's name will not become as tarnished in the court of public opinion. You see, there are many complexities at work here. I'm going to say that if A or C happen, you will see Roger Clemens making a cameo in a popular film within the next 5 years. If he handles this professionally, I expect his career to take off.

The second part of your question is much easier to answer. Obviously, there is no way to know what kind of scripts are going to come out within the next five years. But, the best thing to do is to take a look at typical movie roles and try to think who is best suited to play them. First, we have the suave, mysterious, James Bond man of espionage. I don't see Clemens in this role. Obviously, he doesn't cover his tracks well. I see a guy like Tom Brady or Roger Federer more likely to play these roles. How about a Rambo type? A big, intense dude that has the intense stare and instincts to take on an entire nation's army or terror network on their own? Clemens would certainly get more consideration for this role than for an international man of mystery, but I think that Kevin Garnett would be a more likely choice. Even on his most jacked up day, Clemens could never match Garnett's intensity. What about the simple, good old boy that makes it as a superstar in the big city? Larry Bird would get this gig long before Clemens. Finally, I would just like to state in this section that I would like to see Dennis Rodman take over all roles that would have been given to Wesley Snipes just as soon as Snipes is too old to play the action roles (which may have already happened). Why isn't Rodman a Hollywood star yet?!


Well, let's try to think of something more fitting. What about a baseball player? This will not work for several reasons. First of all, any baseball player role automatically goes to Kevin Costner before any other actor gets a chance at it. It is only after Costner has turned it down that anybody else can be considered. Look, everybody has their own opinions about Costner and his acting ability, but you'd be hard pressed to convince me that he is not a better choice than Clemens for most films. Secondly, the fact that Clemens was implicated in steroid use makes him a poor choice for anybody trying to convey the romantic idea of a long summer of baseball.

The final thing we need to consider is who has played roles similar to Clemens up until this point. Like you, I enjoyed Clemens role in Kingpin tremendously. A role that I enjoyed equally as much was the role of Cam Neely as Seabass in Dumb and Dumber. In fact, I thought that Neely was better than Clemens in this role. However, to the best of my knowledge, Neely has not been seen since. So, we can only assume that the role of these large, burly, rough edged men that like to rough-up and deflower innocent wanderers are not the key to Hollywood success, which is unfortunate because it is in these roles that Clemens is the most believable. I think that Clemens needs to continue making these cameos and building his career bit by bit if he hopes to someday have a leading role in a bad movie. It could happen. There are plenty of action movie stars out there that are unimpressive. Would the Die Hard series have dropped off at all if we replaced Bruce Willis with Clemens? Probably not. What about if we replaced Seagal with Clemens in the Under Siege films? No difference. Don't count the Rocket out yet Greg.

Thank you for your question. I would just like to add as an addendum to my answer that after reading your question, I had a dream in which Roger appeared on television every night as the spokesperson for Jagermeister. I know that this wouldn't happen, but I've got to tell you, this is the role that he was born to play.

Greetings From the Tides Motel

In the first ever "from the road" segment for roomofzen, I come to you from a little motel in Locust Valley, Long Island, New York, known as the Tides. I have been calling a cozy little one bed number on the second floor home for the past 48 hours. In the rest of this post I will attempt to enlighten you to the peculiarties of this place as best I can. Also, as you will see, being holed up in this place, which is obviously a summer hot-spot, in the middle of January is not very exciting. The plus side is that it has given me plenty of time to think, and to continue to totally dominate my franchise in Madden 08.

The Tides is a strange place indeed. It strikes me as the kind of place that people come either directly before or after they commit a violent crime. It is the kind of place that teenagers rent out to drink handles of 5 O'clock vodka and take whippets. The kind of place that 16 year old girls lose their virginity to much older guys who drive suped up hondas with giant "honda" stickers on the windshield. I consider myself lucky that I have not seen the movie "Vacancy" and that I am not staying here with my girlfriend because I would not be surprised if there is some kind of wierd webcam filming right now as I write this and is being broadcast to wierd old guys in dark basements all over the country. Oh well. I did however, just see the movie No Country for Old Men which features several shootouts in motels that look EXACTLY like this one. So I do lie in bed worrying that some hitman working for some mexican drug dealers will blow the lock off of my door with an airgun and liquify my face with a 12 gauge. So far I have been sleeping ok.

This picture is from a hotel review website. This is the parking lot. Apparently this picture was helpful to someone trying to narrow down their choices for motels in Locust Valley. There are just as many cars parked outside right now as there are in this photo, and I am 99% sure that that exact truck is parked in that exact spot right now. I think it belongs to the guy at the desk, who is a friendly Indian gentleman who has been great at giving me directions and helping me to fax important documents. If it was a creepy white dude at the desk I am sure I would have allready been in some kind of snuff film, so I have been pleased thus far with the hospitality.

Anyway, in between bestowing Madden 08 beatings and working (the reason why I am here) I have had a lot of time to search for things on the internet and to come up with rediculous things to do, mainly, writing a post about staying at the Tides. I found this gem on youtube, it comes from Peter Jackson's Braindead, hailed at its time of release as the goriest horror film ever. I can still remember the night that my buddies and I rented this movie in 8th grade. We couldn't stop laughing, I don't know what that says about us. Here is the plot outline: A young man's mother is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey. She gets sick and dies, at which time she comes back to life, killing and eating dogs, nurses, friends, and neighbors. Pretty deep, but we were very bright 8th graders.

The opening lines are some of my favorite. "I kick ass for the lord" is one of my favorite lines ever. I think I literally almost shit when I heard that line the first time...and by "almost shit" I mean I kind of did I just didn't tell anyone. Also, notice the leg sweep that the priest uses to "relieve" one zombie of both of his legs, after he has allready ripped off both of his arms. That is the definition of awesome.

I know what you are thinking...where is this post going? Is there a point? Honestly I don't know, lets just keep it moving.

Also on Youtube I found that Bill Simmons, who we all really love here, has a video archive on youtube, someday perhaps we too will have an archive of our favorite videos, but since we just got around to udating our Links of Interest (or not) section this week it might be a while...if only I was going to be at the Tides longer. Check it out here. I will say this, I just can't get into Bill Simmons' 90210 references, that show has really played no role in my life whatsoever. They are lost on me.

This is a picture of my bathroom at the Tides, actual size.

Among other things that have occurred to me while staying here in Locust Valley is that I really reall hate the Chargers. Especially Phillip Rivers. I just angry when I see him. Does anyone else feel this way? I know I shit on the Manning brothers a great deal, and we can all stand to have some fun with whoever gets behind center for the Dolphins, but at the end of the day the sad truth of it is that the Manning's are both talented and more importantly, don't strike me as total douchebags. Peyton Manning makes me laugh sometimes when I see his commercials, and I admit that I laughed hard too when I saw the "Unstoppable" add for Citizen Eco-Drive watches featuring...Eli. I couldn't find the actual commercial but this paroday will do:

When I saw Rivers taunting players from the Broncos from across the field I really hoped for a Thiesman like moment the next time he got under center. I would bet a million dollars that Jay Cutler will be a better NFL quarterback in the long run than Rivers. Man he bothers me.

Just in case anyone else comes to Locust Valley and stays at the Tides just let me warn you that the food here sucks. I have eaten at the local chinese food place and the local pizza place and they both surprised me at how bad they are. I guess it must be the off season. I am glad to be leaving here tomorrow.

In case you were wondering, this is the Sumatran rat-monkey:

Superbad

I still haven't seen Superbad, but everyone I talk to says that it is great. A lot of people are buying the DVD now, so I'm sure I'll be able to borrow it soon. In the meantime, I stumbled upon this review.

Oracle Speaks IV

Oracle,
I'm not sure if you realize this but this past December was the 10th
Anniversary of Chris Farley's death.

Before I go any further I'd like to clarify that I don't think Farley
is in John Candy's league. I still count the first time I saw Uncle
Buck as one of the most memorable events of my life. I celebrate the
man's entire catalogue. Yet I digress. Back to Farley. I was 14 when
Tommy Boy came out and was completely blown away. Meanwhile, I
maintain that Black Sheep is one of the great-underrated comedies and
it gets better with every viewing. Although in terms of being
underrated it is a distant second to Dirty Work (Norm MacDonald at the
height of his powers). But that's a whole other issue. Still I'm not
blind. Beverly Hills Ninja was a disaster. Yet this bomb can't take away
from Farley's dance off with Patrick Swayze, his brilliant use of the
word awesome in those celebrity interviews and of
course his epic performance as Christian Laettner in this somewhat
frightening lost classic



In closing my question is as follows – how does ROOMOFZEN feel about
Farley?

- Weeks, New Hampshire


Ah, hello Weeks (it is strange for me to address you simply by your last name rather than by your full name, but we don't like to give away identities for security reasons. The Oracle was very pleased to receive your e-mail. Essentially, what is happening is that an oracle is receiving an e-mail from another oracle, but I digress......

Your question is a good one, and I'm glad to have the opportunity to answer it in this open forum. I got the idea to do the John Candy tribute post when I was listening to WEEI and they brought up the story of the 1989 super bowl when, with his team trailing with less than five minutes left on the clock, Joe Montana said in the huddle "hey, isn't that John Candy in the stands?". Much like you, I hold John Candy in high regard, and it only took one mention of the man for me to spring into action finding the best way I could to honor him through this new medium. After I finished, I thought to myself that I should find out what time of the year Chris Farley died, and make a similar tribute to him around that time. It was only then that I learned that Farley had passed in December, the very month in which I had passed him up for the John Candy tribute. I was slightly embarrassed as this seemed like such a rookie mistake for someone who is such a fan of these two artists, and I planned to simply wait until next December to post a Farley tribute. However, perhaps this response can serve as one.


The fact that my mind went to Farley immediately after posting about John Candy should give you some insight into the way that Roomofzen views him. We love him, and celebrate much of his work in the same way that we celebrate Candy's. As a kid, I can't even count the amount of times that I watched Farley's movies (particularly Tommy Boy and Black Sheep). I think that your assessments of his movies are right on. Tommy Boy is a classic that can be appreciated by all generations. I can't say the same for Black Sheep and Dirty Work because as much as I love them and remember them as some of the best and most undervalued comedies of their time, I think that some of the generations that came before us may have some trouble relating to these films. For example, the first time I saw this clip, I was cracking up hysterically. However, I just don't know if older people would be in touch with this type of comedy:



So, in discussing film accomplishments, I have to give the edge to Candy. When I look back on my youth, I think that I will remember Farley's movies having a greater impact on me. However, I really think that Candy just had a knack for making movies that will hold up better against time. However, where Farley's true genius comes through is in his sketch comedy work. Candy can't hold a candle to him in this department. I would put Farley in the all time elite class of sketch comic personalities. He was amazing. In fact, I really think this might be the reason why Candy made better movies. When I watch a Chris Farley movie, I'm watching it so that I can laugh at Chris Farley. When I watch Uncle Buck, the Great Outdoors, Summer Rental, Who's Harry Crumb, Canadian Bacon, Cool Runnings, or any other of Candy's movies, I am watching them for the movie. As a kid, I even watched Beverly Hills Ninja many times. Sure, it's a shitty movie, but Farley is hilarious as always. Just take a look at this opening scene and tell me that it's not funny:



Of course it's funny. Everything the man did was funny. I would put him above every sketch comic actor out there except Mike Meyers (I put the two of them on equal ground). That Christian Laettner bit is hilarious, because I can't even remember how many times as a kid I would be playing basketball by myself, set up a game winning scenario in my head, miss the shot and run after it and be like "but he gets the rebound, and there's really like three more seconds left"...it's classic.

His SNL stuff is incredible. In particular, that interview with McCartney (see above) is one of my favorite TV moments of all time. It's hard to find videos of it out there (copyright stuff I assume). But, we've got a few things here. First, let's check out one of the episodes of Bill Swerski's Superfans, one of the best Farley series, in which they preview a Bears playoff game with the New York Giants:



I could watch this stuff all day. I wish they had the Michael Jordan one, but I can't find it. If anybody has it, send it in and we'll put it up here.


The Chippendale bit with Swayze is probably Farley's most well-known SNL piece. The only video that I can find is this one, which is low quality, but still incredible (there is some weird commercial before and after):



In my opinion, Farley helps take Swayze to new heights in this piece. I really believe that it's Swayze's best work. I know what you're thinking....better than Red Dawn? Well, let's take a look:


I'm going to say yes...better than Red Dawn.

Finally, let's have a look at Matt Foley, the motivational speaker:



There's so much great stuff. The bottom line for all of our readers is, if you don't have the SNL best of Chris Farley DVD, then you really need to get it. Chris Farley truly was one of the greatest comic personalities ever to live. In discussing he and John Candy, I'd prefer not to think of one as being superior to the other. Much in the same way we discuss Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, and Magic Johnson. To say that one is better than the rest only serves to take away from other greats.

And, if you don't think that Chris Farley has inspired the youth out there, then I ask you to take a look at this:


Looks like his constitutional rights were violated to me. Anyways, thank you for the e-mail Weeks. Please keep in contact with Roomofzen. I have a few things I would like your thoughts on. First, I have really taken a liking to horseradish sauce lately as a condiment. Eggs, sandwiches, dip, anything really. It's great. I'd love to know your thoughts. Second, what did you think of Rocky Balboa. I thought it was amazing, but that's a story for another post. We appreciate your question, and encourage all of our readers out there to please e-mail the oracle with anything that you'd like to ask or tell us.

Foil in the Oven

.....one month before Shannon Hoon's death



What an outstanding Weekend of sports. Between the Giants win, three other very exciting playoff games, and the Celtics win over Detroit, I don't really know what to do with myself or where to begin with this post. I guess I just need to dive right in.....

-It's amazing how much the last two weeks have changed my views on Tom Coughlin. Heading into week 17, I wanted Old Redface out. In my mind, he was going to march our starters out there to get waxed by the Patriots in a meaningless game, and then we would take our inconsistent, uninspired team on the road to Tampa for our third straight first round exit. I've just always felt like he didn't connect with the players, and that showed on the field. However, week 17 clearly showed that the players do respond to Redface, and the fact that this team has been able to take the next step in the playoffs this season means to me that any changes in the coaching staff would be a setback.


- I would just like to point out that Eli Manning was 20/27 with 2 touchdowns and no interceptions. Ben Roethlisberger threw three interceptions, and yet we don't hear anybody blaming him for his team's loss. If the Giants had lost, the spotlight would have gone straight to Manning despite the fact that he managed the game very efficiently. People would have been questioning his character, his ability to win big games, and whether or not he should be this team's long term quarterback. He's moving on to the second round of the playoffs, which is something the Steelers are not doing. He led his team to the playoffs last year, something that Ben Roethlisberger could not do. He led his team to the playoffs two years ago, something Philip Rivers could not do. Look, he may not have the fiery personality or the stoic stare (I tried finding a badass picture of him, it's impossible), but I can't argue with the results. Would I rather have Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, or Brett Favre (a younger Brett Favre I guess makes more sense here)? Of course. Would I be happier if the Giants had gotten Philip Rivers or Ben Roethlisberger? I can give a definitive no on this.

- In a world where all teams are playing at their best, Dallas is in my mind the unquestioned frontrunner in the NFC. They have a powerful, balanced offense and they can put all kinds of pressure on the quarterback. However, this seems to be the best time to catch the Cowboys and the worst time to catch the Giants. These teams play each other twice a year in the regular season and know each other inside and out, so everything is going to come down who can execute better in all three phases of the game.
I'm not going to say that I expect the Giants to win, but I think that they have a good shot, particularly if TO is unable to perform at a high level (This is huge, because we can't cover ANYBODY, but the future looks bright: Corey Webster made some big plays yesterday and Aaron Ross looks like he's going to be a stud).



- I can't stand the San Diego Chargers. I don't know what it is, but ever since last year when LaDainian told us that it is disrespectful to do another man's dance, I can't stand this team. They just seem like such a group of crybabies and loudmouths for a team that hasn't done much. What happened to the good old days of Stan Humphries, Shawn Jefferson, and Alfred Pupunu? And, personally, I think there is nothing better than when the winning team mocks an opposing players dance. I wanted the Titans to upset the Chargers yesterday, but unfortunately I'll have to wait another week to hear LaDainian crying at the podium again.

-Also, while we are on the subject, I'd like to thank Vincent Jackson for screwing everybody in fantasy football that picked him this year (myself included, albeit in a late round) and then rubbing it in our faces yesterday by having the kind of stats we were hoping he might get during the regular season.



-What is the deal with Marvin Harrison? The Colts have been so cryptic about this whole situation that I don't know what to think. He could be playing at 100 per cent this weekend or he could be dead, I really don't know. What I do know is that his health is the key to the Colts playoff success. If Harrison is able to perform, I really think that the Colts are capable of winning the super bowl. How can they be stopped? A cold weather game at Gillette Stadium may do it, but the Colts can run the ball just as well as the Patriots. It will be interesting to see how this all plays out. If Marv can't go, I give the Colts a zero per cent chance to take a win in Foxborough.




-I can't say enough about the Celtics' wins last week. They looked very sluggish against Houston, which is understandable after their road trip. However, as Tommy Heinsohn pointed out at the start of the night, a let down against the McGradyless Rockets would waste one of their wins from the road trip. The Rockets (particularly Bonzi Wells) were fired up, the Celts weren't on their game, it would have been an easy one to lose. In fact, most teams that were 26-3 would have just cut their losses and packed it in. But, this team found a way to pull it out. After Scott Pollard and Kendrick Perkins had both fouled out, KG put the team on his shoulders and simply willed them to victory. After the game, he gave a pretty badass quote: "I fed off this building. These fans in here are like sparkplugs. I just plugged in and that was it." These are the types of wins that will help to forge this group into a championship team.

- I was at the game Friday night against Memphis, and I can tell you that in person Ray Allen looked like he had Vertigo. He couldn't hit a shot anywhere (literally, his two points came on free throws in the last minute) and he threw about five passes out of bounds. Allen didn't play much better (9 points) against Detroit. However, with the emergence of Glen Davis and Tony Allen continuing to improve, this team was able to overcome the fact that one of their best scorers was in a slump. Tony Allen picked up the slack on Friday night, and Glen Davis was able to score 20 points in Saturday night's hard fought victory over the Pistons. Saturday night's victory was huge because the Celtics need to head into the playoffs knowing that they can win in Detroit.



If LSU wins tonight, I really will have a hard time finding fault with the BCS. In my mind, LSU is the best team in the country. I would love to see a playoff as much as anyone, but I realize that is just a fantasy at this point. A movement to a playoff system would be a HUGE change for college football, and it's not something that they will just install in the off-season. As far as the system itself is concerned, it's too bad that there were so many blowouts, but that's just the way that it will be in some years. You can't argue that Hawaii didn't belong in that game against Georgia because if teams like that were never allowed in, we all would have missed out on Boise State last year. My only real complaint is that Missouri was more deserving than Illinois of a BCS appearance.

There has been a lot of talk on television about a plus one game next year. That is a good idea, and an improvement over what we have now. But, it doesn't get rid of any of the problems. Who would play the winner of tonight's game in the plus one? USC? Georgia? West Virginia? Kansas? There's no way to know. I have enjoyed some of the bowls this year. The two New Years Eve games, in particular, were very exciting. I also enjoyed watching West Virgina beat up on OU (They should have had a circle beating of Rich Rodriguez after the game) because we got to see a lot of Noel Devine, who is going to be a star. Devine had some of the best high school highlight tapes that I have ever seen.




Here is a clip of Shannon Hoon's daughter, Nico, playing with Blind Melon in October. They are touring and kicking ass with Travis Warren on vocals (he gives a great message at the end of this).



.......................We'll have a lot more for you this week here at roomofzen, including another edition of oracle speaks and the babcock report, please e-mail the oracle with any questions comments or thoughts. Have a great week............

Any Given Sunday - Inches

This is so badass...if this doesn't get you fired up for the playoffs then I don't know what to say...take up curling maybe.

The Babcock Report Vol. III

Well, I have returned to Massachusetts from the left Coast ready to tackle another posting. I am still recovering from jet-lag and a freak freestyle-walking injury which fortunately spared my eyesight and most of the digits I use to type but I have regained enough strength and motivation to complete what I hope to be a good summation of the regular season of the NFL and a look forward at the next couple of weeks, aka Playoffs. Tonight, while I was preparing this post Seattle and Jacksonville advanced past the wildcard round. All I have to say is that I was not surprised by Jacksonville's win, and that I dont think any team in professional sports is less interesting for me to watch than the Seattle Seahawks, I'm not sure why, I really have no good reason. When I see Sean Alexander and Lofa Tatupu I just have a very strong urge to switch to the Food Network. I really can't explain it.

All I have to say about the Pats-Giants game (Which I watched in the home of a Raider's fan in Santa Cruz) is that I was surprised (and impressed) by the intensity of the Giants. I was equally not surprised when they blew the game at the end. The best moment of the night came when Randy Moss dropped a wide open pass and the Raider's fans started yelling things like "That Looks familiar asshole!" and "that guy sucks" and then on the next play he caught a bomb for his 23rd receiving touchdown and broke the single season record and my father, mother, and I all stood up screaming...that is family bonding. Later the Raider's fan, who my uncle referred to only as "The Greek", shook my hand and congratulated me. It sure does suck to be him.

Eli Manning...Can't seal the deal...on the field anyway.

MVP
Tom Brady…what a joy to watch this year, every Sunday I feel very lucky that I am not rooting for anybody named Philip Rivers to succeed.

Offensive player of the year
See above, those numbers are pretty amazing, second place goes to Randy Moss. Yes I know there is no second place...this is a good piece by Scoop Jackson about why Randy Moss won't be (and isn't) MVP. Food for thought.

Defensive Player of the year
Bob Sanders...dude makes plays. Pound for pound the most tattoos in the NFL.

Best Coach
Bill Belichick. There will never be another 16-0 team in the NFL’s regular season. You heard it here first.

Worst Coach
Scott Linehan (St. Louis Rams) I’m not even sure how this guy got hired as an NFL coach…wait…he was the offensive coordinator of a 9-7 Miami Dolphins team last year! No wonder they only won one game this year.

Toughest Division in NFL
NFC East

Unsung Hero
Brian Westbrook…Maybe this generations Jim Kelly. This guy does EVERYTHING well, and I agree with LaRocque he doesn’t get enough respect.

Offensive and Defensive Rookies of the year
On Offense Adrian Peterson…on Defense Patrick Willis. I had so hoped that the Pats would make a move for Willis on draft day last year, too bad that didn’t work out for us. Honestly though, I wish I had a chance to see him play more because he might as well be working at a Victoria’s Secret in North Dakota playing for the 49ers. If you’re scoring at home that makes it unlikely for me to ever come across him.

Most embarrassing arrest/encounter with law enforcement
Michael Vick...although hearing Andy Reid's House referred to as "a drug emporium", made me chuckle and then feel very cold and hollow inside.

Most likely to be arrested in near future
This guy: Raiders Defensive Coordinator Rob Ryan...




Something about him says “Posession of Strange Pornography” or "Aggravated Assault".

Best game
Patriots vs Ravens…I was actually nervous for about 4 minutes during this one.
Worst game
Dolphins Vs Steelers on Monday night. The Steelers won 3-0, and I lost 3.5 hours of my life and $50 FOR EVER! Sidenote…by far the worst season of Monday Night Football I can remember. And Tony Kornheiser was terrible. I sometimes agreed to watch America’s Next Top Model reruns with my girlfriend, seriously, it seemed like a viable alternative many a Monday night this year.

Most annoying ex-player
Tiki Barber/Chris Collinsworth. I wonder if Tiki has any friends left in New York who don’t do his hair and makeup? Collinsworth...if you are out there...I hate you.

Best quote of the year (player or coach)

"I am the Man." Randy Moss.

(ok...so I don't have time or the memory cells to remember or look up my favorite quote of the year so I made that up.)

Best press conference (too bad dennis green is still not coaching)
Bill Belichick addressing the New York Media: (I could not find a recording of this interview anywhere so I have to paraphrase, so bear with me…this is pretty accurate so you should get the gist)



"NY Reporter: How is Tom Brady's shoulder he was on the injury report listed as probable?


Belichick: You will have to check the injury report at the end of practice.


NY Reporter: Well aren't you at all concerned? Its been listed on the inury report for a few years now.


Belichick:................................(Long Pause).................right."

Best special teams player
Devon Hester. People still kick to this guy?

Worst kicker
Anyone who punted to Devon Hester.

Best punter
Chris Hanson…the peoples choice.

Player with no business in the NFL
Martin Grammatica…because he looks like a rat and hurt himself during a celebration. Why can’t we get a Pete Rose-esque “banned for life” here…seriously its bad for the integrity of the sport. Also, I move that all kickers be forced to wear the facemask worn by LT (Shark) in Any Given Sunday

Worst teammate
Terrell Owens…every year until he retires.

Surprise team of the year
Miami Dolphins…as in “Holy Shit they suck THAT bad?”

Most embarrassing drug scandal
Cowboys Assistant gets busted with HGH for “male enhancement”. Talk about having your business put in the streets.

Most unhealthy looking coach
Joe Gibbs naked. Whoops.

Best fans
Patriots Fans…because my mom is one.

Worst fans
Patriots Fans…because every time I listen to talk radio some idiot (who also happens to be a Pats fan) calls in to talk about the Pats and I say “that is the most ignorant person I have ever heard”…then I wait five minutes and say the same thing. Also, I don’t think that there are any Cardinals fans out there, I have never met one, and I defy anyone to name a Cardinals fan that they personally know, that must make them some of the worst fans too.

Biggest disappointment player/team/coach
Cincinnati Bengals…they have so many offensive weapons but always seem to suck.

Most pleasant surprise
I don’t have AIDS…and Randy Moss’ attitude and performance this year.

Strangest turn of events
Randall Gay causes a fumble, recovers it, and runs in for a “meaningless” score Vs. the Browns allowing the Pats to cover the spread…I can actually hear my buddy Bobcat shit his pants…with joy… three blocks away.

Team most likely to suck next year
Atlanta with Miami a close second--- I mean a close second to last.

Team that you expect to win the NFC
Dallas
Team that you expect to win the AFC
New England
Team that you expect to win the Super Bowl
New England
Team that you expect to win the Pro Bowl
File this under “Who gives a shit”

Super Bowl MVP
Tom Brady
Pro Bowl MVP
Hmmmm....most obscure award ever…Braylon Edwards?? Who gives a shit?

Who will be the first pick in the NFL draft in 08?
Matt Ryan (Boston College)...because it's Miami's pick...and Keanu Reeves may not be available.

Who will be the starting QB for the Browns next year?
Brady Quinn…Apparently he's been using Myoplex religiously…
Who will be the starting QB for the Dolphins next year?
Approximately two career backups, one rookie, and a guy in Georgia who is currently doing oil changes at a Valvoline.
Who will be the starting QB for the Bears next year?
Trick question! The Bears will revolutionize offensive football by punting the ball to Devin Hester on every possession…madness ensues.
Who will be the starting QB for the Eagles next year?
Donovan Mcnabb…wait...maybe they can pry Rex Grossman from the Bears???

End of Season Awards

The holidays and different vacation issues have really thrown off our staff meetings lately. However, this list of superlatives was handed out to each writer earlier this year. We were each supposed to give our opinions before the playoffs started. This is my list. Please e-mail the oracle any issues that you have. Please note that these were filled out after the colts/titans game, and before any awards that were given this week. Also, we are not predicting awards, but rather giving our own.


MVP
Tom Brady
Offensive player of the year
Randy Moss
Defensive player of the year
Bob Sanders
Best Coach
Bill Belichik- There are a lot of guys that could be here. Romeo Crennel, Mike McCarthy, Wade Phillips….But, a 16-0 finish makes it a no brainer for Belichik.
Worst Coach
Marvin Lewis- This team, particularly the defense, sucked so much this year.
Toughest Division in NFL
NFC East
Unsung Hero
Brian Westbrook – he’s highly spoken of when they bring him up, but they don’t bring him up enough.

Offensive and Defensive Rookies of the year
Offense- Adrian Peterson
Defense- Patrick Willis
Most embarrassing arrest/encounter with law enforcement
Michael Vick
Best game
Eagles over cowboys in Week 15
Worst game
Patriots over Dolphins the first time
Most annoying ex-player
Tiki Barber – I can’t say enough about how much respect I have lost for Tiki. When he first announced that he was retiring, I had no problems. He is a guy who has aspirations beyond playing football, and I can’t blame him for wanting to salvage his body. However, the way that he has slandered the Giants players and coaches has been completely unnecessary. It is the job of analysts to make judgements on what they see. But, Barber’s criticisms of Manning and Coughlin came, for the most part, before the season even began. I hope that he realizes that the Giants are better now than they were a year ago when he was on the team.
Best quote of the year (player or coach)
"You all are going to really see some things that you've never seen before, and when it does happen, don't say I didn't tell you.” – Randy Moss after signing with New England
Best press conference (too bad Dennis Green is still not coaching)
Randy Moss after the win over the Giants, hands down. He’s the man.
Best special teams player
Devin Hester
Worst kicker
I’m giving this to Matt Bryant, because he sucked so badly on the Giants and now he’s actually pretty good.
Best punter
Jeff Feagles, the greatest of all time.
Player with no business in the NFL
He may not even play anymore, but if he does the answer is Todd Pinkston.
Worst teammate
Kills me to say this: Jeremy Shockey
Best Teammate
Ray Lewis
Surprise team of the year
Redskins
Hottest wife
Carmella DeCesare, wife of Jeff Garcia (who knew?)










Most embarrassing drug scandal
The Reid family
Most unhealthy looking coach
With Charlie Weiss coaching a college team, I’m going to have to go with Andy Reid.
Best fans
Packers fans
Worst fans
Eagles fans, hands down. Can’t stand them.
I’ll give second place to the Patriots fans who seemed very content to pretend that Rodney Harrison was injured for the first four games of the season.
Biggest disappointment player/team/coach
Rudi Johnson/Bengals/Marvin Lewis
Most pleasant surprise
Mario Williams
Strangest turn of events
It was an unfortunate one. The Sean Taylor saga was one of the saddest and strangest situations I can remember. I’ll give second place to Ricky Williams being re-instated and then getting injured on about his third play.
Team most likely to suck next year
Atlanta
Team that you expect to win the NFC
Dallas
Team that you expect to win the AFC
New England
Team that you expect to win the Super Bowl
New England
Team that you expect to win the Pro Bowl
NFC
Super Bowl MVP
Randy Moss

Who will be the first pick in the NFL draft in 08?
Glenn Dorsey
Who will be the starting QB for the Browns next year?
Brady Quinn
Who will be the starting QB for the Dolphins next year?
Derek Anderson
Who will be the starting QB for the Bears next year?
Donovan McNabb
Who will be the starting QB for the Eagles next year?
AJ Feely (until Kolb is ready)

Foil in the Oven

Welcome to the first Foil in the Oven of 2008. We've all got our own New Year's Resolutions here at room of zen. For me, it is to work on making Foil in the Oven a little more concise and quick-hitting, as was my original intent when we began this series. So, let's give it a try.

-Saturday night's loss was very tough for me to swallow, but in the end I think that it was a positive step for the Giants. During the week leading up to the game, I was hoping that the G-men would rest any starters that were banged up. In my mind, we hadn't played well since the Detroit game, and it made no sense to deny our starters healing time so that New England could blow us out and give us even less momentum than we already had heading into the playoffs. However, Old Red Face (in a signature stubborn and traditional move) made the right call. The Giants played a great game. They gave New England everything that they could handle, and I really think that this team's momentum and confidence are at an all-time high heading into this weekend's contest in Tampa Bay. In fact, if Vince Wilfork had been thrown out of the game for poking Brandon Jacobs in the eye (which he should have been, that's a classless move and very dangerous), the Giants might have been able to control the ball on the ground well enough to win the game. But I'm not bitter.....really.

-There is only one thing that I will remember from Sunday's day of football, and here it is:

John Madden said that this was one of the biggest hits that he has seen in his life. Now, John has seemed a little more senile over the past few years, and he may have had a hard time seeing because rumor has it that Vince Wilfork poked him in the eye right before this play, but I believe him. It's amazing that Chris Henry got up as fast as he did. It's also amazing that the Browns lost to the Bengals last week and the Titans were even in this position. This should not be a playoff team. They barely beat the Colts (who rested their starters in the second half).

- Keeping with this game, it never really occured to me until Sunday night just how great of a job Jim Sorgi has. Obviously anyone that backs up Peyton Manning gets paid a lot of money for not doing very much work. But, because the Colts only carry two quarterbacks , it is in the other team's best interest to go easy on Sorgi when he's in. Tennessee took him down hard a few times, and I couldn't help wondering if Jeff Fisher was advising his team not to hit Sorgi too hard. An angry Peyton Manning, annoyed by the fact that his rest was interrupted, could have ended the Titans' playoff hopes very quickly I imagine.

- On my drive back to Boston, a radio station was counting down the best songs of the year and kept saying "2007 was such a great year for music". I've heard a lot of ridiculous things in my life, but that might top them all. 2007 was not a good year for music. 2006 was also not a good year for music. 2005 was not a good year for music. Look, I have a lot of relatives that are in junior high and high school, and they need help. They don't have the independence yet to find good music where it is hiding in 2008 (for example, I could not have taken any of them with me to see Baroness because they are too young), and frankly I'm worried that they will never know what good music is. When I was a kid, I had John Sencio on Rude Awakening spoon feeding me great music. I'd like to think that made an impression, but where do our young kids get that today? They never see sick music videos for great songs (see below):



2007 was not a good year for music, and I don't have very high hopes for 2008.

-The Celtics road trip could not have gone better. They ended the four game trip in impressive fashion by pulling out a tough Saturday night win against the Jazz (I'm going to be honest with you, I saw very little of this game because I was watching the Giants and I forgot to DVR it. Even if I tried to watch it on Saturday night, I would have had a hard time seeing because Vince Wilfork poked me in the eye right before halftime) and dominating the Lakers on Sunday night.

-Now, it is important that we talk about this game against the Lakers on Sunday night. I am all for retro jersey nights in the NBA. I'm really all for it in any sport. I think seeing any team in their old uniforms is really cool. And, I can even understand how the IDEA of a retro shorts night could be good. However, in practice this looks horrible:



Needless to say, I'm glad that we have moved on from this era of basketball. It was so bad that the Lakers even changed into their normal shorts at halftime. I was glad that the Celtics never wore those high shorts in this game, and hopefully this is the last that we'll see of this.




2007 was not a good year for music.

- The NHL Winter Classic seems to have been a great success. I can't help but wonder what went wrong with pro hockey. This is a sport that was very popular in the 80's and early 90's. And yet, the game is so much better now than it was then. Video of today's players makes the games games from the 80s seem like they were shot at a men's league game at a town rink somewhere in the Mid-West. The NHL needs ESPN to start carrying Wednesday or Thursday night hockey again. We always used to watch this in college. Every game was always between two of a group of about 8 exciting teams, and it was great. If people could watch some of today's young NHL stars on ESPN once a week, I really think it would make a huge difference. I probably shouldn't care about how the NHL does, but I do. I was one of the biggest NHL fans out there until my favorite team was taken from me (this is something that I will write a post about in April. Until then, it's too difficult).

Perhaps no league has seen its level of play improve over the past twenty years as much as the NHL. If you have ever been a hockey fan, you should check it out. There are a lot of exciting things happening. For example, check out this highlight video of Alexander Ovechkin (again, you'll have to pardon the music):